Parent Shaming In The Time Of COVID

School board members mocking parents who use medicinal marijuana is the latest example of educators shaming parents for wanting a return to in-person schooling

In the latest episode of World’s Worst Video Conference Screwups, the entire school board of Oakley, CA resigned over an embarrassing conversation they didn’t realize was being broadcast live to parents in their district. During what was thought to be a private pre-meeting session preceding a public board meeting, board members vented their anger and frustration with parents who were calling for schools to return to in-person learning. Lisa Brizendine, who was president of the board of trustees, said that parents “want their babysitters back.” Board member Kim Beede sounded off on an interaction she has with a parent, saying "bitch, if you are going to call me out, I am going to fuck you up." After roughly two minutes the members realized that the meeting had already gone live, but by then the damage was done; a quick-thinking parent had filmed the tirade and posted it to Youtube, where it went viral.

As awful as the whole conversation was, there was one comment in particular that really set me off. From the New York Times article linked above -

“‘‘I totally hear that,’ said Mr. Masadas, who went on to describe how his brother had a delivery service for medical marijuana.

The clientele ‘were parents with their kids in school,’ he said, as board members laughed.”

The implication here is that parents want to send their kids back to in-person learning so that they can go back to getting stoned all day, which is an interesting way of looking at medicinal marijuana. 

Side note -- while recreational marijuana has been legal in California since 2018, the state’s medicinal marijuana program remains in effect. Medical marijuana cardholders are exempt from paying state sales and use tax, can purchase and possess larger amounts of marijuana, and have greater access as not every municipality in California allows the sale of recreational marijuana. 

I know that there are parents who use the time when their kids are out of the home to medicate, in order to do so without having to explain to them what it is they are doing -- because I was once one of those kids. 

When I was in my early teens my mother’s long-term boyfriend, David, was diagnosed with stage 4 non-Hodkin’s lymphoma. His treatment path was brutal; surgery plus radiation therapy plus  IV chemotherapy treatment twice a week. Chemotherapy, while effective in treating cancer, comes with some nasty side effects that make it difficult to sleep or eat. To help offset those side effects, my mother bought marijuana for David. Obviously, I wasn’t supposed to know about this at 13 years old so most of the medicating took place while I was at school. Being the savvy teenager I was, I still knew what was going on but didn’t think much about it. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized what a merciful and, honestly, pretty badass thing it was that my mom did. 

I don’t want to turn this into a treatise on my feelings about marijuana in general or medical marijuana specifically (legalize it all already!) but I wanted to share my story to explain why I found Masadas’ comment and the reaction to it so infuriating. COVID didn’t make all other ailments and diseases disappear, and I’m sure the additional stress parents have been under for the past year has not helped any health issues that were present pre-COVID. Those who are on a medicinal marijuana regime aren’t doing so because they want to be baked all day, they’re treating an illness. 

Obviously, I’m sensitive to why a parent would not want to medicate with their children present. As displayed by the contemptuous reaction from Masadas and the other board members, there is still a stigma attached to medical marijuana. There is also the issue of explaining to your child why their parent is on medical marijuana; it’s an awkward conversation and one that may not be age-appropriate for a younger child. Waiting for the kids to be out of the house before medicating is a good way to square that circle, to be able to treat whatever ailment that parent has so they can be in the best physical or mental space possible when their children return home. 

It’s sad to see that the idea of medical marijuana is still a punchline to some people, especially in a state that legalized the sale of it in 1996. I don’t degenerate anyone who has sought treatment for an illness; if that treatment happens to be medical marijuana, well, there’s certainly worse prescription drugs one could take. I also understand taking a drug that is still illegal on the federal level and considered a “hard” drug can lead to some difficult conversations. There is nothing wrong with a parent handling their illness in the way that they deem easiest for their family, mocking them for it now shows a total lack of awareness and compassion.